My birthday is always a very emotional time of year for me. In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I get very anxious and worried and just a bit down. It’s hard to explain why, even to this day. Don’t get me wrong, I love my birthday. I love the presents, the excitement, the one day of the year where it’s all about me. I think to start with, it was the concern that the big day wouldn’t live up to to the hype. That I had built this massive idea in my head about what my birthday SHOULD be. As the years go by, I think it’s developed in to a time of reflection. A yearly reminder of where I thought I would be at this age, and where I actually am.
26 is an interesting age. It’s an age where I still consider myself young, but I know that it won’t be that way for too much longer. It’s an age where I still shop at Supre for clubbing clothes, but I am well aware that I am the oldest person in the store. It’s an age where half of my friends are going out and getting black out drunk every weekend but the other half are settled down, buying houses and having children. To be quite honest, I’m torn between the two lives. Part of me loves the freedom I have in this life but part of me craves that security that a partner and family gives you.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in a position where I could get married, buy a house and have a child. And even if I was in the position where I could, I’m not entirely sure I would. I love the freedom I have at the moment. I love that right now I’m sitting in bed, having a glass of wine and my only responsibility is making sure the cat comes inside before I go to sleep. And even if she doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world. On the other hand, I love seeing the happiness that marriage and children bring to my friends lives. Seeing them with that love for their husband and children, that love that is indescribable, it makes me yearn for it.
But I digress, this blog post isn’t about marriage or kids or housing. It’s about me and where I am at 26. SO! Where am I?
House – I am currently living in a flat in Wellington with two guys and a girl that I moved in to at the start of this year following the living separation with my partner. Although it’s not ideal in many ways (I still have to hide my cat from the landlord), it’s a nice house with city views and off street carparking so I’m going to call that a win. I also don’t have to pay rates or house insurance #CountYourBlessings
Career – This is probably the “objective” I am nailing most in my life. And if I’m quite honest, it’s probably the one which if you had asked me at 15, I would say was the most important to me to be nailing at 26. I have recently just accepted a 3 month secondment for a team manager position within my company. Something I was offered because of the hard work and dedication I had put in to my previous role. It’s definitely got it’s challenges and although I still wake up dreading to go to work, its because I don’t want to get out of my bed more than anything else.
Fitness – This is still a work in progress – similar to how it has been since I got in to fitness at the age of 19. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy with where I’m at fitness wise – it’s a forever evolving objective. But looking back to when I was 18 and my boyfriend at the time walked next to me while I “ran” around the block, I appreciate that I’ve come a decent way.
Skincare – Now this is a really random one but considering a couple of weeks prior to my birthday my skin broke out like I was 16 again, I thought it was worth noting. Skincare is something that is drilled in to you, advising you to adopt a good routine from a relatively young age. I can assure you right now that I ignored this up until a few weeks back. Not that I completely neglected my skin but there were definitely nights when I slept in my makeup thinking I could wear it again the next day. Rewind to 3 weeks ago and I have adopted a new skincare routine which has definitely taken some adjusting to (think red, itchy, flakey skin) but my face is looking great. Now to stop squeezing the odd spot that does come up.. #WorkInProgress
Taking the time to reflect in a blog on what I have achieved has definitely granted me some clarity on just how far I have come. Aging is a strange thing. Particularly for me, being the baby of the family, it’s strange to see youngins come up and take that title away from me. It’s not something I particularly enjoy but it is something I am coming to grips with (slowly… very slowly…)
(Ps – I’ve also started to like red wine. What. The. Hell.)